Ya know how sometimes you get online and end up spending the next 3 (to 15) hours of your day falling into a dark hole of internet-soup, only to emerge after the fact wondering where your life just went? And where that package of string cheese went? (Spoiler: You ate them. All of them.)
I like to refer to that as “Tuesday”. Or any given day where I’m procrastinating, really. Like right now. So “Thursday” works too.
Which is why I’m here today to talk with you about the evils of wasting your time online, and to help you see how much more productive you could be with your precious time.
Hahahahahaha…. Hahaha….. Ha.
No. What I’m really here to say is that, amidst one of my fell-into-the-internet-and-can’t-get-out binges, I actually stumbled on something cool that I wanted to share. (Thanks internet, I knew you weren’t just a cesspool of hateful youtube comments, porn, and cat gifs!)
The cool thing I’m referring to is this article where successful people shared the best advice they ever received. And there was one piece of advice in particular that made me stop and say, “Yes. That. Totally!
"My friend Andre said to me, 'You know, Marissa, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to pick the right choice, and I've gotta be honest: That's not what I see here. I see a bunch of good choices, and there's the one that you pick and make great.'"
This quote so perfectly demonstrates the trap we fall into when we believe there’s always a “right” way to do things. As though there is a book written about each one of us that contains the ideal, perfect version of our lives. The life we could have if we would just figure our shit out already!
That’s a lie though. Because there is no ideal, perfect you. And there is no ideal, perfect life laid out ahead of you.
There’s merely you, and the choices you make.
It’s that simple, really.
Your Life = You + Your Choices
Some of us opt for math that looks more like this though:
Your Life = (Ideal you - Actual you) + (Right choices - Wrong choices) + Failure to reach potential + Self loathing
*feel free to add in your own personalized variables to that neurotic equation*
Now, I know life can be difficult, and there are some really tough choices we have to make that can severely alter our path. And I get that there are some choices that will yield better results than other choices. However, this idea that there’s some ultimate, right choice to be made in every moment is a lie.
There is no right, most perfect version of your life out there just waiting for you to fall in line with it.
Some choices you make will lead to great things. And some will turn out sorta shitty. And that’s just how it works. But your job in life is not to try and keep in step with the imaginary, perfect you. Your job is to make choices, take ownership of them, and see where it takes you.
And then do that over and over and over again.
And if you don’t like where a choice takes you? Then change course by making a different, new choice. Because that’s the thing about choices. They are always available to you. Ya, you might not always like the ones available, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still there.
Do you know why it's really easy to keep pretending that there’s an ideal life waiting for you? Because that sort of thinking absolves you of your responsibility to be responsible for your life.
At some point you’ll have to be willing to let go of this safe, yet unhelpful, fated view that says that your life is supposed to go a certain way.
Because life will go where you take it.
So go where you want to go.
Don’t go where you think you’re supposed to be.