There’s a chance that something is giving me cancer right. now. Maybe it’s the non-organic Froot Loops I just ate? Or the death-rays from having both my laptop and cell phone resting on my body while the TV plays in the background? And come to think of it… did I really disinfect my kitchen counter before preparing last night’s dinner? And my poor, poor toddler who I fed processed food to the other day!!! (Get a hold of yourself, Callye... you don't even have a toddler.)
Oh God. So many lapses. The end is nigh.
Ya see… I only have the capacity to freak out over so many things in this world, so I’ve started to become selective with how I use my obsessive, irrational energy. Because if not? Then life will become a clusterfrick of self-doubt, perfectionism, and paranoia.
The amount of energy us human beings expend freaking out about things is impressive, to say the least. Most of us are highly addicted to our mental chatter, and so like the true masochists we are, we can’t help but take a thought and run with it.
And thanks to having so much information -- and so many people’s opinions -- available to us 24/7, we’re given infinite opportunities to get wrapped up in the next big thing we need to fix about ourselves and our lifestyle. And once we get bored with that topic, we can’t help but move on to a new one. Because -- DAMNIT, I WILL FIGURE OUT THE EXACT, PERFECT WAY TO LIVE THIS LIFE OF MINE!
And then BOOM. Next thing you know, you’re making all your cleaning supplies by hand and reciting 25 affirmations in the mirror and keeping a spreadsheet to help you regulate your child’s screen time usage and doing only strength training because haven’t you heard how too much running can actually be unhealthy for you? And don’t forget that your food should be organic and that you should never microwave your tupperware and that if you’re not spending your day as efficiently as possible then you’re wasting precious moments of a life that’s slipping away with each breath you take.
Whew. I’m winded just typing all of that.
Now, let me be clear: I completely support someone who chooses to eat organic, or recite affirmations, or do whatever the hell it is they want to do. I’m not judging anything a person chooses as a priority in their life.
But at a certain point, we have to realize that there really are only so many things that we can spend our time being afraid of and trying to fix about ourselves and the world. And if we start to lose sight of the fun stuff in life because we’re getting so caught up in the next-best-thing that we should be doing so that we don’t die a fiery death filled with acid reflux and a GMO encrusted body, then we might want to re-evaluate our priorities.
We’re all very focused on living a good life and getting the most out of it that we can. And that’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. So then we start trying to figure out the best possible decision to make in every possible moment. Because we value our life and realize that it’s finite. And we think that if we can make all the right choices, then we can protect ourselves from physical pain, emotional pain, and the ever-present threat of feeling unfulfilled with our life.
It makes logical sense why we like to be problem-solvers and solution-finders. Shit’s scary out there and we’re not getting any younger! But deep down you know that even if you did find the ultimate solution to that one problem, there would be a million more waiting in line. And being the person who spends their real-life worried about eliminating all the suffering of their future life… well, you might be in for a bumpy, paranoid ride because that work will never be done.
We’re all a little neurotic, and that’s okay. I give you complete permission to have some stuff you get a little irrational about. But at a certain point, you’ve got to draw a line in the sand and figure out what things are worth it. And what things aren’t.
Because just like we can’t have it all in life… we also can’t be afraid of it all.
Now off I go to take my 10 daily supplements and spend a few hours panicking about what paint color to choose for my apartment. Because it totally matters... OKAY!